Why Listening is Crucial in Relationships

Updated: Jan 23


fighting each other rather than the problem

Rhea and Keith

Rhea and Keith have been together for a year now. They are childhood friends and have a lot in common and are very happy together except for when they are fighting. The last time they fought was a pretty bad one because they had a misunderstanding once again and they're both screaming at each other so that their feelings are heard. The air is tense and in the end, Keith screams, "I am never heard in this relationship! it's always about you. I think we need to get some professional help because this is not working out."


So what went wrong here?

how to navigate?

There's an obvious communication gap between the two, but they are technically talking, right? What is going on here?


So from the example above, you might think that the most important thing in relationships is talking without clashing. This couldn't be further from the truth! Listening is an integral part of communication, and it's a two-way street. Meeting the needs of both the individuals in the relationship so that they feel heard is very important for a healthy relationship. If one person overpowers the other in the conversation all the time, that would just make for a one-sided conversation, which doesn't seem like much of a healthy relationship!


The Road to Success

healing

If you really want to have a successful relationship with your partner, then listening should come naturally to both parties. I know this can sometimes feel awkward or even daunting when there are disagreements or fights or when the emotions are running high, but it's key during these times too! It brings clarity and understanding, builds solutions that will work better for both partners (instead of doing what one wants), makes space for vulnerability and connection, and all of this is just what you need to get back on the right track.


Listening should be reciprocated too - if one partner usually listens while the other talks then that's not really a two-way street anymore! One way communication can never work out well in relationships so it's important for each person to take turns and actually listen to what the other has to say.


So how do we be better partners?

being better partners

Well, it's not all that hard! Just make sure to be fully present when your partner is talking to you instead of focusing on the million other things in your head. Try looking at them while they speak and don't interrupt - let them finish their thoughts before responding or asking questions. This will help you get a better understanding of what they need from you during difficult times and embrace each moment together with love.


And why listen? Because communication is about more than just speaking into thin air… It's also about attentiveness, openness, vulnerability, receptivity and acceptance! So go ahead and give it a try next time something comes up between the both of you (and trust me there WILL be stuff coming up because no relationship is a cakewalk). This act alone can bring you both closer and make your relationship stronger. Listening can also help during fights or times of distress. It brings clarity and builds understanding between partners. This can lead to solutions that are better adapted to both partners, making space for vulnerability and connection as well.


It's normal to feel afraid or uncomfortable when faced with disagreements or fights, but it's during these times that we need to be especially attentive and try our best to understand where our partner is coming from. Just taking a little time out for active listening can do wonders for your relationship - so don't hesitate to put in the effort! It'll definitely be worth it.

Here’s how Rhea and Keith’s visit to the therapist went:


therapy for healthier relationships

On hearing both sides of the argument the therapist noted down a couple of things the pair could work on. The therapist explains the In order for a conversation to be effective, both parties need to be actively engaged in listening to one another. This means paying attention not just to what is being said, but also to how it is being said.


A few pointers:

  • Talk openly and honestly with your partner about how you're feeling, what you need, and what you expect from the relationship. This will help to create a clear understanding between both of you.

  • Make time for each other and show that you're interested in what your partner has to say. Active listening is key here – make sure that you're not just waiting for your turn to speak.

  • If things get heated during an argument, take a break rather than continue to fight. This gives both of you a chance to calm down and approach the situation more objectively.

  • Remember that communication is always a two-way street. Your partner should be doing their best to listen to you as well, even if they are emotional and do not agree with you immediately.


How can therapy help you communicate better?

effectively communicating- saying sorry when needed

If you and your partner are struggling to communicate effectively, therapy may be a good option for you. At Safe Space Therapy, we offer couples counselling that can help improve communication in relationships. Our therapists will work with you and your partner to develop new skills that will help you better understand each other and resolve any issues you may have.


Therapy can also help if one person is not comfortable being vulnerable or feels unsafe doing so. In cases like these, the therapist can act as a mediator, providing a safe space for both partners to share their feelings openly without any problems popping up. Sometimes it is how you put a message across that can make it come across as hostile, but with the guidance of a therapist, this is less likely to happen. Plus you can be coached on how to be a better listener by your therapist.


If you’d like to explore more about how couples counselling could help your relationship, please contact us at Safe Space Therapy today. We would be happy to answer any of your questions and help you navigate the roads of effective communication and listening.


Wrapping it up

growth- for your relationship and you!

To end with, listening to your partner is essential during fights or times of distress. Listening brings clarity, builds understanding, brings about solutions that are better adapted to both partners, makes space for vulnerability and connection. There’s no harm in seeking professional help when required. Getting professional help can help you and your relationships long term. Let’s keep your relationship in safe hands with us at Safe Space Therapy!


Please note the story above is a story made up by the author. In no way is it a case that came in. We at Safe Space Therapy uphold client-therapist confidentiality religiously.





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